NorCal trip planned. Going away party planned. Other things in the works. Check and check and check! I can't decide if I'm more excited to do all of the fun last-minute things in my last month in the States or to do the move itself. Officially on my last week of work.
I should be packing right now.
I feel so silly updating this sometimes. I tell myself it's for you, Max.
martes, 20 de marzo de 2012
viernes, 9 de marzo de 2012
Sleepy Days
Today was one of those perfect days. The temperature was just warm enough for a t-shirt and just cool enough for jeans. There were a light ocean breeze that made my sleepy walk to the dog park cool and lazy. Not too dry. Not humid at all. There was even a perfect amount of water in the creek for Zoey to chase ducks without hitting too many deep spots. She hates those--they always interrupt a perfectly wonderful flat-out run.
A pot of tea on the front porch until 4:30 watching the world walk by ... I could have stayed there for another hour if I didn't have to go to work.
A pot of tea on the front porch until 4:30 watching the world walk by ... I could have stayed there for another hour if I didn't have to go to work.
lunes, 5 de marzo de 2012
The Countdown & Other Numbers
26 Days until my last day of work.
OR 624 Hours
49 Days until I leave for Philadelphia.
OR 1176 Hours
51 Days until I leave for Georgia.
OR 1224 Hours
___
33 Letters in the Georgian alphabet
14 Letters in the Georgian alphabet that I know
2 Words in the Georgian alphabet that I can reliably remember
2 Pots of green tea a day (on average)
3am Average hour I finally fall asleep at night
... and I'm tired and I don't think in numbers .......
..... and I'm really not this neurotic I swear!
OR 624 Hours
49 Days until I leave for Philadelphia.
OR 1176 Hours
51 Days until I leave for Georgia.
OR 1224 Hours
___
33 Letters in the Georgian alphabet
14 Letters in the Georgian alphabet that I know
2 Words in the Georgian alphabet that I can reliably remember
2 Pots of green tea a day (on average)
3am Average hour I finally fall asleep at night
... and I'm tired and I don't think in numbers .......
..... and I'm really not this neurotic I swear!
viernes, 2 de marzo de 2012
Why Waitressing is like Babysitting Preschoolers
1) Sharing (or inability thereof) - This one gets me all the time. At Chili's, we give everybody rolled silverware with two forks and a knife. Sometimes, say, if there are two of you there but one friend is still on her way, I might accidentally give you two setups instead of three. I always drop silverware with extra napkins. Now here's what I don't get: if two of you get burgers and one gets a salad, why are you asking me for another setup? You have four forks and two knives between three people at a casual dining restaurant. Two people in this scenario even have food intended to be eaten by hand. How is this a problem, exactly? This totally drives me crazy all the time.
2) Can't Read - Okay, the rest of your table ordered their soup. You pretty much just heard our whole soup list spelled out by your mother, father, younger sister, and awkward friend yet you insist on staring at the soup list on the menu, looking puzzled, and then requesting that I verbally list off the soups for you. I understand that you are stressed out, that you feel pressed for time, and that the pressure of choosing right now is almost too much for you to handle and you must find a way to buy yourself some time in order to make this decision, but for God's sake it's just a bowl of soup. Please just pick one.
3) Can't Plan for Future - Much like a preschooler who looks outside at a cold rainy day and picks shorts and a tank top because she likes the colors, you, No Water Dude, are incapable of planning for the future. When I come by and ask what you'd like to drink and you tell me "nothing", that no, you're "fine", I do not believe you. After all, you plan on spending the next 40 minutes imitating a camel in the middle of our restaurant oasis-- a land filled with diet coke and water-with-lemon-light-on-ice. Invariably, ten minutes into this useless test of your own willpower, you pick the most inopportune moment to cave and decide you are thirsty thus ensuring that I must make a separate trip just for you.
4) Useless Temper Tantrums - This section is for the Crazy Soup Lady. Although she, in all her Crazy Soup glory does not, unfortunately, demonstrate the entire, spectacular range of useless temper tantrums, I like to think that she symbolizes them. Because we have all had the Crazy Soup Lady. You know the one I'm talking about. She's 45, on a perpetual diet, and comes in wired-for-sound on black coffee. She doesn't like anything and, more than that, she takes everything that she doesn't like personally. Her soup is never hot enough and she never has enough napkins. Also, she has a speck in her water.
5) Can't Do Simple Math - Okay, every server ever complains about this so it's not like I can leave it out. You have a freaking calculator on your phone for Christ's sake. If you can spend the entire meal playing Angry Birds on your phone and ignoring the human being you came out to socialize with, you can take the 30 seconds to calculate your portion of the bill and the tip. I'm looking at you, college-age boys who get water and still make me split the check on a 2 for 20. (With tax, one of you is paying $10.77 and one of you is paying $10.78, aren't I allowed to just tell you that by now?)
6) Living in a Fantasy World - If you ask me if our sirloin is tender and I tell you "yes" and then you stare me down ... and THEN order it well-done, I am going to judge you. It doesn't even matter if I eat meat or not. And don't you dare ask why it's taking so long.
Also, this category is for the people who do hilarious, completely illogical things. Like those 21 year old guys who thought they were supposed to take the Gran Marnier for their cadillac margaritas as a shot (I look over and they're acting tough going "yeah, see, that was good")!
Or like the lady who drunkenly came up to me and insisted that her food come out on plates.
And, everybody, when I come by and sweetly say that the kitchen is closed, this is not your cue to wait ten minutes and then ask if you can get a Molten.
7) Messy - Do you or your kids even eat? Really, do you? And I get that parenting is hard, I do! But all you have to do is set the sugar caddy up on one of our zillion ledges. Your kids are three. They have, like, four inch arms or something. Putting the salt and pepper out of their reach is truly a doable thing. The parents across from you are doing it.
8) Weird Ass Art Projects - This is actually a subcategory of (or even an exception to) number seven. Honestly, I don't care what you create as long as you keep it on a plate so that I can conveniently dump it in the trash. I am not paying for the Splenda, salt, or ketchup. Although I do think that my tip should go up by $5 for every sugar caddy that you empty just for your sculpting pleasure.
2) Can't Read - Okay, the rest of your table ordered their soup. You pretty much just heard our whole soup list spelled out by your mother, father, younger sister, and awkward friend yet you insist on staring at the soup list on the menu, looking puzzled, and then requesting that I verbally list off the soups for you. I understand that you are stressed out, that you feel pressed for time, and that the pressure of choosing right now is almost too much for you to handle and you must find a way to buy yourself some time in order to make this decision, but for God's sake it's just a bowl of soup. Please just pick one.
3) Can't Plan for Future - Much like a preschooler who looks outside at a cold rainy day and picks shorts and a tank top because she likes the colors, you, No Water Dude, are incapable of planning for the future. When I come by and ask what you'd like to drink and you tell me "nothing", that no, you're "fine", I do not believe you. After all, you plan on spending the next 40 minutes imitating a camel in the middle of our restaurant oasis-- a land filled with diet coke and water-with-lemon-light-on-ice. Invariably, ten minutes into this useless test of your own willpower, you pick the most inopportune moment to cave and decide you are thirsty thus ensuring that I must make a separate trip just for you.
4) Useless Temper Tantrums - This section is for the Crazy Soup Lady. Although she, in all her Crazy Soup glory does not, unfortunately, demonstrate the entire, spectacular range of useless temper tantrums, I like to think that she symbolizes them. Because we have all had the Crazy Soup Lady. You know the one I'm talking about. She's 45, on a perpetual diet, and comes in wired-for-sound on black coffee. She doesn't like anything and, more than that, she takes everything that she doesn't like personally. Her soup is never hot enough and she never has enough napkins. Also, she has a speck in her water.
5) Can't Do Simple Math - Okay, every server ever complains about this so it's not like I can leave it out. You have a freaking calculator on your phone for Christ's sake. If you can spend the entire meal playing Angry Birds on your phone and ignoring the human being you came out to socialize with, you can take the 30 seconds to calculate your portion of the bill and the tip. I'm looking at you, college-age boys who get water and still make me split the check on a 2 for 20. (With tax, one of you is paying $10.77 and one of you is paying $10.78, aren't I allowed to just tell you that by now?)
6) Living in a Fantasy World - If you ask me if our sirloin is tender and I tell you "yes" and then you stare me down ... and THEN order it well-done, I am going to judge you. It doesn't even matter if I eat meat or not. And don't you dare ask why it's taking so long.
Also, this category is for the people who do hilarious, completely illogical things. Like those 21 year old guys who thought they were supposed to take the Gran Marnier for their cadillac margaritas as a shot (I look over and they're acting tough going "yeah, see, that was good")!
Or like the lady who drunkenly came up to me and insisted that her food come out on plates.
And, everybody, when I come by and sweetly say that the kitchen is closed, this is not your cue to wait ten minutes and then ask if you can get a Molten.
7) Messy - Do you or your kids even eat? Really, do you? And I get that parenting is hard, I do! But all you have to do is set the sugar caddy up on one of our zillion ledges. Your kids are three. They have, like, four inch arms or something. Putting the salt and pepper out of their reach is truly a doable thing. The parents across from you are doing it.
8) Weird Ass Art Projects - This is actually a subcategory of (or even an exception to) number seven. Honestly, I don't care what you create as long as you keep it on a plate so that I can conveniently dump it in the trash. I am not paying for the Splenda, salt, or ketchup. Although I do think that my tip should go up by $5 for every sugar caddy that you empty just for your sculpting pleasure.
Suscribirse a:
Entradas (Atom)